Spring: An Examining Time

 

We were nearly at the end of our session when Elizabeth’s expression suddenly changed from bemusement to a look of realisation.

“Ah, I get it now” said my client, “this whole  financial healing thing is really about self worth and not net worth. Our financial situation is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. And I guess this reflection shows up in other areas such as health relationships and in our careers”

That pretty much nailed it and with this in mind, the intention of my blog post is to cover a multitude of areas, not just financial issues. The techniques I primarily use, EFT,  Matrix Reimprinting and NLP help with any issues across the board. In fact the creator EFT, Gary Craig encourages us to “try it on everything”

So as the light at the end of the tunnel approaches on another grey British winter, spring bring its own challenges. This is particularly true for parents of children about to take exams. Whilst on the face it warmer weather and longer daylight hours may seem a blessing, my experience was that finally seeing the kids coming off their games consoles did not result in additional study time. Instead they just spent more time out of the house with their friends. The initial joy of temporarily getting the TV back to view that documentary on the history of southern music quickly turned to more serious matters and some negative emotions

Telling the kids to spend more time studying left me feeling guilty as I had left studying to the last minute and it felt hypocritical to tell them off when I had done exactly the same. It was time for a rethink.

Remembering my NLP training, this was the process I used:

  • What is my issue?
  • What is my desired outcome
  • Was this issue under my control?
  • What steps can I take to achieve my desired outcome?

What is my issue? The issue was I felt that my children were falling into the same trap that I had and left my revision until too late. In my case, my results weren’t as good as they could have been, and I didn’t want that to be the case for them.

What is my outcome? For the kids to do their best in their exams and not to have the same regrets that I had at their age.

Is the issue under my control? This was the big one for me. Having asked myself the question, I felt that to a large extent it wasn’t under my control . Even if I had locked them in a room with just their books, I couldn’t make them actually study without causing arguments  all round  negativity  which wasn’t going to benefit anyone.

What steps can I take to achieve my outcome? I decided to concentrate on what I could do, and that was to lay my cards on the table. I told  them that I was once like them, left my revision to the last minute, didn’t do enough and regretted it for a long time after. What seemed to work was my honesty, I wasn’t telling them what to do, just giving the benefit of my experience.

My daughter took on board what I said but said that she felt comfortable with the way that she worked. She obtained the results to back this up.

With my son I talked to him about the bigger picture and listened to him describe what he wanted to achieve in his life and what he needed to do to achieve his goals. With this came the realisation that  he needed to spend more time revising and as a result got better than expected results.

Thoughts: It was important to understand my kid’s viewpoint on their revision and realise how much of the issue was actually mine. By showing some empathy and highlighting my mistakes I believe that they were more willing to listen to me

In the end, they came to their own conclusions and didn’t believe that they were being forced into anything, which, being teenagers, they were likely to rebel against.

Finally, if you are have teenage children, I thoroughly recommend the book “I’m a Parent Get Me Out Of Here Before I Kill My Teenager” by Darren Curtis. Don’t be put off by the title, if you have children of any age, or if you just communicate with people and who doesn’t? this is a must read.

Off to tap on the source of my guilt.

Mark

The Kindle version of The Financial Healer book is now available on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk. This will be available for free on 21 and 22 March 2015.

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